Yaho!

Drinking wine without a hint of sweetness, she reflects on what a wonderful day it's been so far. Trite as it may appear to sound, she really has had an amazing day, based on a decision to do something different than usual, as well as the call of a sudden spring. A spring in the step from the change in the weather. Also, the tea man with the nice smile inviting her in. Sure he was advertising, that's probably his job, but she had a feeling that he just wanted a chance to talk to her. She went to the shrine in Yaho to see the plum blossoms the way that the royal family did in the past. Not fully open yet is the best season for hanami, she thinks. Still in their youth, buds abound, and are just as pretty as the flowers themselves. Small children, she thinks. Taking pictures and drawing, she plants herself under sprites of pink and white. Now there is no hesitation in her stance when she wants to draw or paint or write or just sit down and look around at the scenery. Why there was before, she knows not, but since it all happens for a reason, maybe she's learned something about doing things that she likes just because she likes to do them. Sounds simple, but apparently it's not.

a long time. . . but a thinking time

She sits at her computer, happy to be home but a little bit restless. Perhaps the best thing about the weekend was discovering a new author, writing in a style that seems completely unlike anything she'd ever put her teeth into.

"Perhaps all of the stories of our lives ARE tied together," she thinks.

Ironic that she found this author on the same day that she discovered that her story, her dream, was possibly all in her mind. It was a moment of truth, honestly, but on the other hand, she suspected it all along.

Secretly, this is what she wonders:

Is it better to keep alive a dream, a story in the mind, and moreso a fantasy stemming from what she really wants in life, or should she look at cold, hard facts, no matter what that means? She already knows what her answer is; it lies within her heart. She will keep believing, believing that what she felt and experienced was real, not a dream. Even if everything isn't true, perhaps parts of it are; those are the parts she wants to hold on to, cherish forever.

She just realized that maybe she'd forgotten an integral part of the story. A wide eyed child who wanted nothing more than someone to play with. That's all she wanted, too.